Lying to Myself

“So much to do, with so little time.” A phrase I’ve heard many people say, including myself. But now I wonder if I said it as an excuse for not doing something I should have done.

Eight weeks of isolation gave me plenty of time to start several projects that had been waiting on the back burner – but I was busy doing other things. Or was I? Am I lying to myself when I say that?

If I had to prepare an official report of my accomplishments in the last eight weeks the list would contain mundane tasks that no one else would ever consider worthy of reporting. So, there it is. I have nothing tangible to report. But I did have an awakening, or rather, an “Ah-ha!” Oprah moment, while searching my brain for something I could claim as an accomplishment.

I realized my brain was the problem. Like a good friend, my brain was always there, cheering me on, pointing out errors, giving excuses, and suggesting other [more entertaining] things I could be doing with my time. It was behaving like a dog playing in the yard one minute, then, when a squirrel appeared, it suddenly took off after it. I think this stay-at-home-isolation-thing activated my brain to go on auto-pilot, which in-turn, allowed it to chase one squirrel after another. It’s amazing how it constantly came up with ideas; observed things; analyzed things; and distracted me from accomplishing anything. I was exhausted – and yet, I had done nothing. I didn’t exert one ounce of energy so how could I possibly be exhausted? I had to pull the auto-pilot plug and take control of the wheel.

Simply placing all of my attention on one of my projects was all it took. As I purposely focused with intent, my brain wasn’t able to interject random thoughts because it was too busy working for me. I was no longer on auto-pilot. I was in control and flying high. I planned, organized, and strategized. And now, I am proud to report, I am in the process of editing and illustrating a second children’s story I started years ago. And as I write this, no word of a lie, a squirrel is on my deck. I won’t look. Oh, the little rat is at my plant. I gotta go chase the squirrel. [At least this one is real !]

~ I hope this inspires you

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